Funny Quotes

Looking for a good chuckle? We’ve got you covered with a dozen humorous quotes to brighten up the day.

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical. Arthur C. Clarke

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. Bill Waterson

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Ann Landers

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. Ambrose Pierce

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama

Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know. Daniel J. Boorstin

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Shulz

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop. Gertrude Stein

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Isaac Asimov

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh