More Hilarious One-Liner Jokes

Another dozen one-liners to help get the day off to a perky start.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.

Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions.

I keep randomly shouting out “Broccoli” and “Cauliflower” - I think I might have Florets.

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

Two flies are playing football in a saucer. One says to the other: “Make an effort, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow.”

I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.