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Competition Crowns World’s Funniest Crab Joke

The inaugural contest at The Crab Museum on England's south coast - that claims to be “Europe’s first and only museum dedicated to the decapod” - allows crustaceans to pick the winner.

Cartoon of crabs laughing
Even crabs found them funny!

A team of judges that included celebrity comedians and children from a nearby primary school, scored their favourite jokes before the totals were tallied and a winner crowned. In an unexpected sideways move, reports The Guardian, the crabs themselves actually picked the winner from the four jokes ranked highest by the judges, with the help of some tinned fish in bait bags and rolled-up pieces of paper with the jokes written on them.

Gagging to know the winning gag? Well, the top honour went to: A man walks into a restaurant with a crab under his arm and says, “Do you make crab cakes?” The manager answers, “Yes, we do.” “Good,” says the man, “because it’s his birthday.”

Second place was secured by: “Why did the crab cross the road? It didn’t. It used the sidewalk.” Whilst third place was awarded jointly to: “Why didn’t the crab help the chicken cross the road? Because it was eaten by a pelican crossing,” and: “What format do you have to save photos of crab soup on to? Floppy bisque.”

Now that you're getting into the spirit of the inaugural World’s Funniest Crab Joke competition, you are no doubt wanting more and OGN is happy to oblige. Here's the rest of the crab jokes that made the shortlist:

  • What do you call a red crab piggybacking another red crab all around the town? A double-decapod.

  • A horseshoe crab walks into a bar. “Why the ventral face?” the bartender asks. The crab replies: “Mind your own business and please tip a pint of lager and a packet of crisps on to the pub carpet.”

  • How did the crab get out of prison? It used its escape claws.

  • What did the sea urchin say to the crab? Please sir, can I have some claw?

  • How do barnacles get around? A taxi crab.

  • Why did the crab cross the road? It didn’t. It used the sidewalk.

  • Why did the crab get bad grades? Because it was below C level.

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