Re-writing definitions to suit today's environment.
Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled by how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle, olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Pokemon, a Rastafarian proctologist.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets
Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
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