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Best Edinburgh Fringe One Liners

Updated: Feb 23

It's been a tough time for the arts in the last year or so, but let's celebrate the future with a round up of some of the best one line jokes from the Fringe from the past. It's good to laugh!

Edinburgh skyline at sunset

“I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated” Andy Field

“I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.” Gary Delaney

“I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!” Stewart Francis

“I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: ‘It’s not rocket salad.” Lou Sanders

“Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.” Tim Vine

“I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them.” Emo Philips

“As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.” Gary Delaney

“I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting.'” Paddy Lennox

“I’m sure wherever my dad is; he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.” Jack Whitehall

“Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.” Frankie Boyle

“I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” Alexei Sayle

“I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her” Lew Fitz

“I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it…” Jimeoin

“I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house” Ed Byrne

“Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’ I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!”‘ Alasdair Beckett-King

“A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event” Angela Barnes

“As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer” Adele Cliff


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