Funny and Wise Quotes

A dozen great quotes to make you chuckle and reflect.

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. Ambrose Pierce


When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh


If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Ann Landers


I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical. Arthur C Clarke


The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. Bill Waterson


A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. Bob Hope


If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama


Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck


Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop. Gertrude Stein


People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Isaac Asimov


I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Ralph Waldo Emerson


He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career.

George Bernard Shaw

Today's OGN Sunday Magazine articles


The MooLoo: Cows have been “potty-trained” in an experiment that scientists say could pave the way for more eco-friendly farms.


Doggerland: The lost world in the north sea. Major new exhibition shows trove of treasures discovered in the submerged land between the British Isles and Europe.


2021 Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards: The finalists have been unveiled. Here's a selection of OGN's favourites.


Zostera Marina: Famous Spanish chef believes he's found a marine grain in eelgrass that could be a way to feed the world and fight climate change.


Today's videos