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Funny and Wise Quotes

Updated: Jan 24

A dozen great quotes to make you chuckle and reflect.

Blackboard with the words: Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Ann Landers

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical. Arthur C Clarke

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. Bill Waterson

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. Bob Hope

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. Ambrose Pierce

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop. Gertrude Stein

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Isaac Asimov

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Ralph Waldo Emerson

He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career.

George Bernard Shaw

More great quotes? Explore the OGN Quotations archive.


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