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Funny Quotes

Updated: Dec 3, 2023

Looking for a good chuckle? We’ve got you covered with a dozen humorous quotes to brighten up the day.


Neon sign saying: Laugh

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical. Arthur C. Clarke


The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein


The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. Bill Waterson


If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Ann Landers


War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. Ambrose Pierce


If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama


Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know. Daniel J. Boorstin


Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Shulz


Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop. Gertrude Stein


People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Isaac Asimov


Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain


When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

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