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Quirky Collection of Amusing Quotations

A dozen perceptive observations about life.


Sign saying: Sometimes you have to be your own hero.

“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” Mark Twain


“It is useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he’s madly in love, drunk, or running for office.” Shirley MacLaine


“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.” James Branch Cabell


“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” Vince Lombardi


“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” Mae West


“Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” Franklin P. Jones


“Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” Bo Derek


“If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” Elvis Presley


“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Edison


“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” Paula Poundstone


“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” Charlie Brown


“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.” Mark Twain


More Quotations from the OGN archives

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