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Random Funny Tweets From Women

Ten amusing tweets to entertain you.


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Is tweets the right word anymore?

@whingewine: Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be in the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.


@shegot99problms: Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.


@CatHunterESPN: Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?


@cardamomkiss: She died doing what she loved. Walking into the road while saying "Pedestrians have right of way."


@mom_needsalife: I think I’m pretty smart until I’m asked to tap to pay for something- here? where? here? do it again? did that work?


@SundaeDivine: If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors can't see you, it's rural.

If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops, it's suburban.

If you're naked on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you, it's urban.

If you're naked on the front porch and your neighbor is also naked, it's Florida.


@_NatalieWould: To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.


@RYGdance: Autocorrect just turned “Think of others for a change” into “Think of otters for a change”, and now I agree that’s a better solution.


@Heatinblack: Fridge ice dispenser- when you want some ice in your cup but also some on the floor.


@caitiedelaney: Yeah I’m interested in Dune 2… Dune 2 others as I would have others do unto me.

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