Scientists at Cambridge University have announced that the world will soon have access to television remote controls that don’t end up with a lost battery cover.
Missing battery covers have long been the bane of man’s existence and experts now believe a new technology in development will eradicate the problem for good. "We’ve been working on this since the late 1970s and we have finally solved the issue, but the technology is just not quite there yet,” says lead researcher Dr. Eams.
Researchers have discovered that most television remote controls lose their battery cover within the first year of use, with a usual duct or Sellotape solution improvised by the user until the sticky side fades and eventually falls off, leaving behind a sticky dirt loving rim around the casing.
“The batteries then fall out very easily when knocked over and can cause high levels of stress and cursing from the user in question,” Dr. Eams explains. “Sometimes the batteries are then put back in the wrong way and damage the remote control itself, leading to further expletives being uttered.”
The new technology in development will prevent the battery case from coming loose by quantum fusion. However, as with most things where the words quantum or fusion are involved in a potential solution, scientists only expect the new tech to be readily available within a decade or so. Furthermore, such a process is costly, and scientists expect the first of the new breed of TV remote controls that don’t lose their battery covers will be expensive.
“It could cost anywhere up to $10,000, but we believe it's worth it to avoid the stress of losing the batteries and trying to find them under the effing chair,” Dr. Eams concluded.
Today's OGN Sunday Magazine articles: