Ship Captain Fails 3 Point Turn

Updated: Apr 10, 2021

A routine competency test for a ship captain turned into a nightmare after he failed a basic three point turn test in the Suez Canal.

You may have heard that a ship recently got wedged in the Suez Canal as a result of a gust of strong wind, thereby blocking the important shipping artery to other traffic. But, actually, that's fake news - a bit like this is fake news too:

“What are you writing on your little clipboard? Did I screw something up? Stop writing! Oh no, not again!” the captain was heard shouting in despair at his driving test instructor, as the sound of the ship’s massive hull screeching against the canal walls could be heard from miles away.

The captain was in the middle of taking his eleventh unsuccessful container ship driving test. Woman everywhere are believed to have breathed a sigh of relief when informed a man was operating the ship.

“Bless him, the nerves get to some people more than others, he’s been on rolling provisional licences for about 10 years now,” confirmed one source, who said the situation wasn’t helped by the captain trying to do his three point turn while vessels delayed by the test blasted their horns in impatient frustration.

Cursing having to do the test in a ship without power steering and claiming he’s ‘more used to an automatic’, the captain will, for safety reasons, take his next test in the wide open expanses of the Pacific Ocean.