A dozen great one-liners to give you a good chuckle.
Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… But the kids still get in.
What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.
Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.
Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.
So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.