Warning: fake news / dark humour!
In much needed good news for the USA, President Donald Trump announced yesterday that he is to impose a heavy fee on China for each and every US citizen confirmed to have contracted the Coronavirus, giving a much-needed boost to the on-the-ropes American economy.
Millions of Americans had up to this point felt enormous fear and uncertainty about their futures as the disease continues to ravage the country, until Trump’s press conference proudly announced that the US now lead the world in Coronavirus cases, and would soon be ‘number 1’ when it comes to Coronavirus deaths.
Flanked by dozens of people, Trump stated that as far as he’s concerned the virus is classed as ‘goods and services from China’ and as such, is subject to heavy levies; meaning the more people who get sick, the better it works out for everyone.
“China are going to pay for every Covid-19 case, so that means we’re about to really rake in the cash” stated Trump, high-fiving and hugging his staff.
“A lot of people looked at the projected deaths for America, and got really scared when we went to 100,000-250,000, but they just don’t have business smarts like me, they don’t understand things like I do. This is good. This is great, you all need to relax. Give it a week, 10 days tops. If you don’t believe me, then maybe you’re a commie piece of shit”.
China have yet to comment on the matter, which Trump is taking as an agreement.
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