More Funny Quotes

Updated: Apr 1

Here are another dozen quotes to make you chuckle.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White

It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? Ronald Reagan

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Benjamin Franklin

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok

A camel is a horse designed by a committee. Sir Alec Issigonis

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Steven Wright

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. Albert Einstein

At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. Ann Landers

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Elayne Boosler

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. Steve Carell

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong. Charles Wadsworth

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. Doug Larson

More? Take your pick:

Last week's Funny Quotes

Mood Boosting Positivity Quotes

Inspiring Quotes

Best Trump Quotes

Duke of Edinburgh's Best Quotes


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Cosmic Dawn: For astronomers of all creeds, 22 December is the only date this winter that matters.

Bear Necessities: A brown bear likes to go fishing on a lake in Russia with the lady who rescued him from a zoo.

Lexicon: According to the Collins Dictionary, these are the words of the year for 2021.

Remarkable Recovery: Once at risk of becoming extinct in the wild, tigers are now making a major comeback in much of South Asia, Russia and China.

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