More Funny Quotes

Updated: Apr 1

Here are another dozen quotes to make you chuckle.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White


It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? Ronald Reagan


Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Benjamin Franklin


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok


A camel is a horse designed by a committee. Sir Alec Issigonis


The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Steven Wright


Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. Albert Einstein


At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. Ann Landers


I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Elayne Boosler


I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. Steve Carell


By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong. Charles Wadsworth


Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. Doug Larson


More? Take your pick:


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Today's OGN Sunday Magazine articles


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Remarkable Recovery: Once at risk of becoming extinct in the wild, tigers are now making a major comeback in much of South Asia, Russia and China.


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