More Funny Quotes

Here are another dozen quotes to make you chuckle.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. Steve Carell

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White

It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? Ronald Reagan

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Benjamin Franklin

A camel is a horse designed by a committee. Sir Alec Issigonis

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Steven Wright

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. Albert Einstein

At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. Ann Landers

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Elayne Boosler

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong. Charles Wadsworth

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. Doug Larson