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Matt Damon to Become Honorary Irishman?

Updated: Apr 23, 2020

Stranded Hollywood megastar Matt Damon might even change his name too.

Damon had been in Ireland filming ‘The Last Duel’ with long-time friend and co-star Ben Affleck, when Covid-19 travel restrictions meant the Oscar-winning star was forced to stay in Dalkey for six weeks, where he has been the subject of several 24-page ‘Holy Shit, it’s Matt Damon!’ newspaper pull-outs.

If Matt Damon is to become an honorary Irishman, the Good Will Hunting star will have to consider changing his name to Mátt O’Dámón.

To become a full honorary citizen, Damon will have to undergo an examination to see how angry he gets when someone claims an Irish sportsperson is English, whether he licks his lips drinking a pint of Guinness, and how often he phones his mam to see how she’s getting on.

“If he wants to be ‘O’Dámón’, he’ll have to earn it. We’ve got a written examination to see how much broken Irish he can mangle together to form a sentence, and we’ll have him watch an entire Oscars ceremony with his friends and co-workers receiving awards and see if he can make it to the end without congratulating any of them. Only then, will he be welcomed into the tribe,” said a slightly miffed official.

Meanwhile, there’s no word as to where Damon’s co-star Ben Affleck currently is, after he was last seen swimming west in the Atlantic ocean.

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