Former US president Donald Trump is just two more stamps away on his criminality card from receiving free Diet Coke, MacDonalds has confirmed. It's a variation on the traditional loyalty card - but this one is only available to former US presidents.
The news comes after Trump was on the receiving end of a new indictment last week which now notches up to 78 criminal charges he’s been arraigned on over the last four months. With his shenanigans in Georgia yet to provide more criminal charges, it's highly likely he'll reach the coveted 80 stamps on his criminality card in the near future.
'Lamestream' media, as Trump likes to call almost all media outlets, has reported that Trump phoned his local MacDonalds to find out more about his potential new freebie. “Oh and with our special offer you qualify for a free chocolate-chip cookie too because you pressured an employee to flood the room filled with servers storing the CCTV footage the FBI told you to hand over,” explained the employee who answered the call. “No sir, you can’t change the drink to a regular Coke. It’s specifically a free Diet Coke offer,” added the worker before whispering ‘Code Karen, I repeat we’ve got a Code Karen’ into their headset to alert a manager.
Domino Pizza was also reported to be considering a similar criminality card scheme for ex-presidents but word has leaked out that MacDonalds is considering scrapping their offer amid rising concern that if Trump keeps up his current rate of accumulating charges he could earn enough free drinks to put a big dent in the fast food giant's profits.
Trump 'only' drinks 12 Diet Cokes per day. Surprising news considering Trump once claimed on Twitter that he had 'never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke'.
This bit isn't fake news: According to a press release published by the American Academy of Neurology, diet drinks are associated with an increased risk of depression in adults. Results suggested that participants who consumed more than four cans of soda per day were 30 percent more likely to develop depression than those who didn't drink soda, and the risk appeared to be even higher for those who drank diet rather than regular soda.
Study author Honglei Chen says sweetened beverages have important physical and mental consequences. Nuff said.
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